Net 102 Week 3 Task assignment 1.3 How far would a partner have to go online before it’s considered cheating?

(submitted for discussion group)
The acceptability of online dating amongst your friends and family. Do you know of anyone that's met someone on line and then gone on to date them face to face?
I have to agree with you P***r, dating on line is becoming more of a norm these days to let's say 5 years ago. A friend of mine met a man on line, took her young son and left Australia and now married (married in the last week to be exact) the person to whom she had been chatting via ICQ with.  My mother (74!) signed me up for an on line dating site (hmmm). I though prefer to do things the old fashioned way after actually going on a date with one of those "nice" men. I would like to beg the question: Is on line dating bypassing the normal rituals of face to face dating? and Are these people who they say they are?
I can't say that I would be embarrassed to admit that I met someone on line, I just don't spend that much time on dating sites to meet someone in that fashion.



Net 102 Week 3
TASK 1.3 (ASSIGNMENT 1)

Q: How far would a partner/spouse have to go online before it is considered cheating? Up to what point is flirting online acceptable? How 'real' is cybersex? Your initial writing for this topic should not be above 500 words, although it is fine for notes and extracts from the discussion, and further reflection, to take you over this limit.

A:
What is acceptable cheating, if there ever is such a thing? According to Wikipedia "there are divisions of infidelity, which may be emotional. Cheating by thinking of, touching and talking with someone you are attracted to may be equally damaging to one of the parties".
These are grey areas that could be deemed as perfectly acceptable within the confines of a modern relationship, for example looking or peering (perving) at someone is fine (leering might be slightly questionable), and it's not exactly cheating. People can look at people, make eye contact, smile in a flirtatious clans dine manner and yet still be true to their partner.
Thinking about someone other than your partner, consider this, if you thought about your partner 24/7 that could be viewed as obsessive compulsive behavior for which medication can be prescribed. So would touching someone else outside of a committed relationship be considered cheating. Touching is easily misinterpreted, but in the case of the cheating context yes, especially if it is done in a sexual manner. What about talking to someone on line? Here in its self is the quandary; it depends in what context the "chat" is being held. How far does a partner need to go online flirting, chatting, emailing before it to be considered cheating?

Flirting on line is one thing, it can be as simple as "you're so cute I could eat you up," as flirting in its self is relatively harmless and considered healthy when kept within its functioning boundaries, on the other hand actively soliciting cybersex / sex-chat while flirting is a whole other dimension. Talking with another person in all probability a complete stranger on the end of another terminal can be fun, if you are single and consensual or even if you are not single. But if you are in a committed relationship cyber sex could be potentially damaging to the relationship. You may be engaging in sexual misconduct, albeit in a fantasy situation, that does in real life stir actual physical sensations within ones self with someone other than your spouse. That in all probability is cheating, and could be extremely hurtful to the respective partner. People who engage in cyber sex with someone other than their partner can in speculation have the appearance of becoming secretive, evasive, erase emails, shut down computers and could even clear the history cache every time they log off or when their loved one walks in the room (action and reaction) because they quite possibly understand that a boundary may been over stepped. Would I view that person as having an affair, I can reason that they are committing themselves emotionally to the cyber sexual situation even if there is no actual physical contact and that in its self could equate to having an affair, because how real is cyber sex? In answering my own question, it is possible to reply that that depends on whose view you are considering, the person cyber sexing or their actual "real life" partner's.


Reference
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheating

"Wikipedia's view on cheating in relationships: Personal relationships