Topic 1.3: Dating, Intimacy and Sexuality/ Week 3 Pascoe article review

Internet Studies 102: The Internet and Everyday Life Week 3
Topic 1.3: Dating, Intimacy and Sexuality
Pascoe, C.J. (2009). Intimacy in Mizuko, I et. al. Hanging Out, Messing Around, Geeking Out: Living and Learning with New Media.
http://digitalyouth.ischool.berkeley.edu/book-intimacy.

How do youths growing up with the Internet form and conduct relationships these days? This reading takes us beyond online dating agencies and cybersex, into the realm of everyday life and intimacy.
Review
Pascoe discusses in his interesting article how the contemporary dating practices have been displaced in today's media savvy teen culture. It is interesting how he approaches the article, utilising interviews with primarily teenage participants between the ages of 14 to 19. His exploration of how teen's "normative and non-normative patterns of intimacy" (p1) has changed over the 20^th and 21^st centuries, how teens used to "date" and "hang out" but that now however media plays a major part in the changing of ritual courting practices. This had me interested to read more. Pascoe broaches the historical "upgrade" of courting practices from the contemporary 1950's dating American teen to that of current media dependent teenagers.
"Dating and romance practices and themes, so central to contemporary American teen cultures, not surprisingly are a central part of teens' new media practices (Lenhart and Madden 2007; Oksman and Turtainen 2004). Using social media, contemporary teens continue to craft and reshape dating and romance norms and rituals that are now deeply tied to the development of new media literacies". (p 2 Pasco) Pasco describes how dating is losing its past formality, becoming more varied and relaxed, especially with the use of technology such as mobile phones, instant messaging and social network sites like Facebook and MySpace. Teens are able to compose a message which might be flirtatious then they proceed in a manner that might make them feel less vulnerable, more confident than they would with face to face physical contact. A new informal language "whatever theory of language" has developed although Pascoe writes that it is important to recognise that this form of language is in no way a "dumbing down" of language but a "contextually specific literacy practice acutely tuned to particulars of given social situations and cultural norms." (p5)
All this technology. Human nature still comes down to an emotional connection as simple as flirting. Teens do it on line but they tend to do it with people they know, and only the minority of teenagers with flirt with complete strangers. This usually is kept quiet from their friends as "meeting people on line is weird, unnatural, geeky or scary". If teens do meet someone online they will utilise their real world networks to verify who that person is.
Being in a relationship for a teen in this day and age appears to be hard. There is the expectancy of being "always on" and available. Pascoe comments that "teens now do much of their relationship work by using new media, posting back comments, returning text messages, phone calls. When is there down time? Media has become a teenager's relationship 'leash'. It has unfortunately also enabled the teen to comfortably dispose of a relationship, to leave one in a dignified way but leave at least one channel of communication open when the relationship has ended. Although according to Pascoe's article there are certain aspects of media use that are viewed as disrespectful but that "some people do it but most people don't". Breaking up via Instant Messaging, a posted message on Facebook or a text message is something that can't be taken back. It's left its cyber foot print. Still the use of media in a teenagers life especially where relationships are concerned has opened up questions of vulnerability and privacy. A teen can be on line and have a degree of privacy from their parents, according to Pascoe, "youth are able to maintain relationships with people of whom their parents might not approve". Boundaries?, Teens have their lives digitalised on line, they are able to monitor each other in more intense ways and find ways to control each other which leaves those teenagers vulnerable to being victimised by anyone utilising the same type of media. Pascoe concludes "These sites of peer-based learning need to be taken seriously as they are structuring social and communicative practices that differ in some important respects from the experiences of these teens' parents, and they can become a site of intergenerational tension and misunderstanding. Teenagers are not one dimensional"
Thoughts
It was interesting to read Pascoe's article about how dating has adapted over the last few decades. I grew up in an era where boys knocked on the front door and asked you out in person. The digitisation of dating in the 21^st century is complex and frightening. You witness the programs on T.V of how cyber stalkers prey on the vulnerable in chat rooms and social networking sites, Children and adults harass each other on line, scary. In my early advent of internet socialising I have to admit I had a cyber-boyfriend. We met through IRC (internet relay chat) in the mid 1990's. We talked about our daily lives and so on. I don't think I could have ever met him though, I'm in Australia and he was a world away. It makes me wonder about the issues that could have arisen if I had actually have met him in real life. Safety? My family's safety? Was he who he said he was? That was one computer and a land line. Nowadays teenagers have multiple media avenues and not many places to run. To me that is frightening.
References
Pascoe, C.J. (2009). Intimacy in Mizuko, I et. al. Hanging Out, Messing Around, Geeking Out: Living and Learning with New Media.
http://digitalyouth.ischool.berkeley.edu/book-intimacy.